When it comes to living our lives, Christ doesn't make up the difference. He IS the difference.

I am very grateful that I made the choice to write a blog entry on the anniversary of Dave's passing each and every month. It has served as great therapy for me, and although I've been off by a day or two this month and last, it doesn't change the meaning of my entries. It's been amazing to reflect on what was going on just one year prior. The photo is of our visit to see Katie and Randy's little girl, Jaci. It was a very tender moment with both of them so close to the veil- one coming to earth and one going home. Last January I wrote, "I haven't written in a while. I've been so busy, and life seems to be filled with doctors appointments and running my children around. Dave now goes to the infusion center Tuesdays and Fridays from about 10:30 until 1:00. Then we have regular doctors appointments, pain pump refills, scans, prescriptions, follow-ups, etc. I can't really plan from one day to the next much. If I did I'd surely go insane bec...

"I have just two things to say to you who are troubled about the future. I say them lovingly and from my heart. First, we must never let fear and the father of fear (Satan himself) divert us from our faith and faithful living. Every person in every era has had to walk by faith into what has always been some uncertainty. This is the plan. Just be faithful. God is in charge. He knows your name and He knows your need. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ—that is the first principle of the gospel. We must go forward. God expects you to have enough faith, determination, and trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. He expects you not simply to face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it, rejoice in it, and delight in your opportunities. God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t beli...

I saw this quote yesterday when I was out at the store. When I read it I felt like exclaiming, "That's me! That's me!" I remember the days when I had a handle on life. It was a time when there was order and moments of tranquility. When there was a place for everything and everything was in its place. It was the place that I was in before I started having children and moving on average of every 9 months. It was before Dave and I invested in real estate and were constantly putting yards and blinds in our new houses. It was before Dave was diagnosed with melanoma and given 2-5 years to live and in every moment seemed to be looming the inevitable. It was before Dave passed away and the world caved in around me. It was before I was alone with 3 children who were struggling over the loss of their father and friend. Before I went back to school; all the while juggling my responsibilies as head of the house, spiritual leader, mother, housekeeper, cook, gardener, fr...

We had a lot of fun sledding up Huntsville canyon over Christmas break. Ryan remembered all of his snow clothes, except for his boots. We called and called, but none of the neighbors had a size 13. So, he went in his leather shoes. His toes were frozen by the end, but we all had a great time making our tracks down the mountain. Thanks, Alden and Nat, for putting it together! Alli and Brock! Crazy kids!

Christmas morning came much too early. Caden and Jacob were up by 4, but waited patiently until 5 to wake Allison up. Then, Allison came into my room at 5:45 to let me know that they weren't going to wait any longer, so I drug myself out of bed. Caden's favorite gift this year: walkie talkies. Allison's favorite gift: her new outfit. Jacob's favorite gift: his frogs; Dottie and Bob.

December 24th marked 9 months since Dave's passing. A lot has happened since then. Christmas was not as bad as I'd anticipated. Throughout the season, none of the children mentioned wanting anything specific. It seemed that they were just grateful to be together and quite reticent. I missed spending about 10 days of this holiday season with them since I was in Jerusalem, and I do wish that we'd had more time and opportunity to celebrate the miracle of Christ's birth. I find myself wishing that every year. I went to dollar tree on Christmas day and they'd already put out the Valentine candy. Why can't we focus more on Christ all year long? Dave has been and will continue to be a wonderful blessing and an inspiration to us throughout our lives. We are better for having known him. He left a legacy for all of us to follow. I am still so very grateful for the cards,videos and recordings that he left for all of us. I am very aware that he is near and mindf...