When it comes to living our lives, Christ doesn't make up the difference. He IS the difference.

Christmas morning came much too early. Caden and Jacob were up by 4, but waited patiently until 5 to wake Allison up. Then, Allison came into my room at 5:45 to let me know that they weren't going to wait any longer, so I drug myself out of bed. Caden's favorite gift this year: walkie talkies. Allison's favorite gift: her new outfit. Jacob's favorite gift: his frogs; Dottie and Bob.

December 24th marked 9 months since Dave's passing. A lot has happened since then. Christmas was not as bad as I'd anticipated. Throughout the season, none of the children mentioned wanting anything specific. It seemed that they were just grateful to be together and quite reticent. I missed spending about 10 days of this holiday season with them since I was in Jerusalem, and I do wish that we'd had more time and opportunity to celebrate the miracle of Christ's birth. I find myself wishing that every year. I went to dollar tree on Christmas day and they'd already put out the Valentine candy. Why can't we focus more on Christ all year long? Dave has been and will continue to be a wonderful blessing and an inspiration to us throughout our lives. We are better for having known him. He left a legacy for all of us to follow. I am still so very grateful for the cards,videos and recordings that he left for all of us. I am very aware that he is near and mindf...

Back at the beginning of the school year, Vickie called and invited me to go to Jerusalem with her on her return trip this December. At first, I was a bit frightened. I've never been out of the country before, you know! After talking with my math teacher to see whether I could change my final exam date or not, I agreed to go. As soon as I agreed to go, my anxiety melted away and all I felt was excitement and anticipation. On December 4, 2009, we flew from SLC to NYC and then to Telaviv. It was a very long flight where we slept a little more than 1 hour. But we were in the Holy land for nearly 10 days and it was a wonderful experience overall. One that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Dave passed away on March 24, 2009: just 20 days after Jacob was baptized, and 4 days before Allison's sixth birthday. It wasn't easy, and life has had it's barrage of challenges, but we have also been very blessed. Last year when Vickie went to Jerusalem, Dave ende...

It was just this time last year when we had finally found some pre-chemo medications that enabled Dave to begin eating again. During the first part of December, he had been unable to eat anything but liquids, and was going downhill very rapidly. We were all wondering if he would make it through Christmas. After meeting with the doctor and expressing my concern that Dave wasn't doing all that he could be doing (implying that he ought to try some type of Chemotherapy even if the chance was 1 in a couple million), the doctor talked him into beginning therapy. In brief, he learned that the pre-meds helped him be able to eat, and he opted to take them, but not the treatment. We'd been blessed with our miracle. Christmas was wonderful, and we all began to relish every moment that we had together.

Well life is full of ironies isn't it? I haven't been on my blog for almost a month and much has changed. It struck me that the quote I chose to use last month was "Life is filled with recollections of the past and anticipation for the future." Indeed, that is exactly where I am. For the first couple of weeks in December, I went with my mother-in-law, Vickie, to Jerusalem. I was able to visit with Elder Holland before I went and he said that I would feel Dave nearby. "In fact," he continued,"I wouldn't be surprised if the Lord let him have a little vacation from what he's doing right now, and allowed him stay by your side the entire time." I wept tears of gratitude that Elder Holland had expressed exactly what I had hoped for during my visit. Gratefully, I can say that I witnessed the fulfillment of that promise, but it came in ways that were completely unexpected and unanticipated. To make a very lengthy and detailed story short, I m...