When it comes to living our lives, Christ doesn't make up the difference. He IS the difference.

Five months and we're still holding onto you, Daddy. We love you and we miss you so much. We're trying to be good so that we can be with you again. Sometimes we feel you nearby. At first, I thought that I was hurting so deeply, that it couldn't possibly get worse, and with every passing day and month, it gets worse. You hurt deeper and love greater. It's like a wound that is deep, and as you clean a little of the dirt and grime away it feels a little better, but you can never fully recover until you get down deep and clean all of the "gunk" out. "I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all." -Tennyson

We love going back to school! It was so peaceful around the house the day the kids started back to school. I decluttered, canned chicken, froze hamburger and ran errands! Yeah! I have my life back!

Brother and Sister Hunt took us up to their property on Cedar Mountain, near Kolob reservoir. It was beautiful. It turns out Jacob is not allergic to horses, just hay. These ones that feed from the mountain meadows don't give him any problems. Alli enjoyed riding the horses, and named the colt "Chewey" because he was chewing on anything and everything. I got to lead Jacob and Allison around on the horse. Caden didn't really like the colt chewing on his foot. What he really enjoys is 4-wheeling!

Owing to Dave's illness, we were put in contact with Elder Holland. He has been a blessing and a balm to us in our times of trial. I contact him once a month, as he requested, to update him on how our family is doing. This month, I contacted him early, requesting that he make a phonecall to the McDonald(18)boy (mentioned in my previous entry) while he recoveres in the hospital. The response from this wonderful man was, "Will do." Thanks to his wonderful example of discipleship, I now know how the Savior loves each one of us. He is never to busy or over-burdened to find time for those who stray, or just find the pathway too difficult to walk alone. He loves us!

Today I went to the funeral of one of my friends boys- Mason. He drowned last Monday when they were at Lake Powell. He was just 4 years old a week ago. Seeing his little body in the casket reminded me of my brother, Cameron, who died at the age of 2. Both had blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. I can only imagine how the parents must feel. Neither would have wanted this to happen, but it did and they are left to live without him for a while. They have been judged so harshly by others who have no understanding of the situation, or of the active boy that Mason was. I don't remember him ever sitting still. I also read in the paper that the husband of Jacob's 1st grade teacher (Wendy McDonald who was killed in a car accident two years ago) just died in a car crash, leaving behind all of their children. The oldest one, who was also involved in the accident, will be in the hospital up north for the next 4-5 months. Today I have really contemplated life and how fragile it rea...

Last August we went down to Safford for Charity's baptism and we spent a day on the San Carlos reservoir. All of the kids got up on the water skiis. Jacob even skiied for over 5 minutes until he was so tired that he let go of the rope! I tried about 5 times, and threw in the towel. After looking at the home video, Dave tried about 16 times before he finally got up. He must have been exhausted, but he wasn't going to let surgery or a torn rotator cuff or cancer-eaten bones keep him down. He was the perfect example of persistance. He tried and tried until he got it right. (Which meant switching hands once he was up, much to Ben's dismay as he had not yet mastered the same feat.) Thanks for not giving up, honey.