Love Me


We have been without Dave for 14 months today. In so many ways I think, "Is that all? We have been through so much without him." But,it has only been just over a year. Life has given us struggles aplenty and they continue to flood in.

Thank heaven for my home teacher who visits every day and lends me help. If it weren't for him, I'd be drowning in my troubles right now.

The kids are still having their own problems related to dad being gone. More than anything, they yearn, as I do, for things to be "back to normal." It was always normal for dad to be around. It was normal to have both mom and dad disciplining, and doing the work, etc. Now, it's just mom. Dad is not physically there at the games or the programs. He's not there to play catch. I can't feel his arms around me- comforting me when I'm lonely. We miss him. That yearning doesn't seem to dissapate with time, but the associated overwhelming sadness does.

We are becoming better able to cope with what life has handed us. To move forward without regret or remorse. Yesterday we sang,"God Be With You Til We Meet Again." That was sung as the closing song at Dave's funeral. But rather than sorrow that he's gone, I find myself rejoicing in anticipation of the reunion when we will both kneel together at the Savior's feet and proclaim, "My God, how Great Thou Art!"

Tomorrow would have been Dave's 34th birthday. His body will never be that old. His spirit lives on- timeless. He'll never see old age and when I see him again, "[He'll] come down in [his] perfect, chizzled bod!" as he liked to say. (Hopefully I won't be so old and wrinkly that he doesn't recognize me!)

"If you get there before I do, don't give up on me. I'll meet you when my chores are through. I don't know how long I'll be but I'm not gonna let you down. Darlin wait and see because between now and then until I see you again I'll be loving you. Love me!"

Comments

Andrea said…
That's a great picture of you two!!
And I looove the lyrics to that song, it gives me chills every time I hear it! I think of you often :-)
May 24, 2010 at 4:04 PM
Valerie said…
You might be old and wrinkly by the time you get to join Dave, but you will have your 'great chizzled bod' for all eternity. And I'm bettin' that is all he sees. He told me at a pack meeting once... well, maybe I'd better NOT repeat on the blog what he said about your bod! (It was when he was soliciting help in breaking someone's legs if the need arose!)
May 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM
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